Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Advice Illustrated

Nearly a week behind, but here is a fresh look at these hopeless letters.

I may have minunderstood the letter...

Letter 1 is from a woman who ran over a neighbor's cat. Instead of doing the right thing, she abetted her husband's plan to hide the evidence. Now she is justifiably consumer by guilt and wants to tell all. Oh, and the cat's owner is not a nice guy. Prudie says that it's too late to come clean and she needs to keep it together. Nor should her criminal genius of a husband offer to replace the cat.
Now, my take: The whole rant about how mean, mean, mean the neighbor is seems to be about justifying your own horrible behavior. Cats running free do risk getting run over, but that doesn't change the fact that you are responsible for, at the least, telling the truth about what happened. None of the rest is of any interest, except, perhaps, for his wont to sue. So let's look at the horrid behavior of this old man:
1) He complains about every little thing: Just what does he complain about? How often? This claim is too vague to discuss.
2) He calls the police any time there is loud music in the neighborhood? He has a right to peace and quiet. If he has cause to call the police often enough for you to note it as a constant issue, you live among a bunch of very rude people. And just what is a 70yo man to do when his crude neighbors play their country music loud at all hours? Risk getting his dentures knocked down his throat? Far too often such victims end up going on a shooting spree, so calling the cops seems the prudent thing to do. Why don't you intervene to ensure a peaceful environment for all? And if the cops come each time, I'm guessing there is a legitimate cause for complaint.
3) He calls the police if there are "suspicious-looking" kids hanging out too close to his house? Yes, he should allow young hoodlums to threaten him. Why are these thugs loitering? More proof you are low-lifes in a neighborhood of low-lifes.
4) He once tried to sue a neighbor over tree branches falling into his yard? Did he sue or didn't he? Was the threat of a suit what it took for the owner of the tree to take action to protect this man's safety and property?
You are evil, you are just one of the low-lifes, and I am ashamed to read the same online magazine as you.

Maybe he's stealing from you to pay back JC Pënney's?
Video letter is from another abetter who was just fine having among her nearest and dearest friends a thief who makes it a practice of stealing from retailers. Now that he's starting to steal from LW, it's suddenly an issue. Prudence is completely deranged and ignores the whole stealing thing to focus on the niceties of whether one must wanr ones mutual friends that ones BFF is a criminal who steals from them. WTF???? Are you the cat-killer? You certainly seem to come from the same figurative trailer park. I'm not saying you have to go to the cops, but just what does it mean that you want this criminal in your life?

Trust me, she's PREGNANT!
Letter 2 is from a PREGNANT woman whose husband has a new-old BFF is a VERY BAD INFLUENCE on him. I hate all three of them, and foresee a short and nasty marriage for LW. It may be too late for an abortion, but LW should consider letting a more loving and mature couple raise her child.
Prudie says to get counseling.

Letter 3 is from a child whose father wants to have his ashes buried in with his second wife alongside the remains of LW's mother. LW is SHOCKED. Prudie says to get over it. So do I.

Letter 4 is from a guy (I'm guessing) who feels "discomfort" because his boss goes out with colleagues after work and gets drunk. This has happened THREE WHOLE TIMES. There are ESCAPADES. His boss is maybe, like an ALCOHOLIC. Prudie says to narc the boss with an anonymous letter to HQ. I say: WHAT? Just how is this LW's problem? If LW starts getting hassled for not going out drinking, then it's his problem. Until then, MYOB.

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