Dear Prudence, 24 June 2010, One-by-one: Over-reactions

The theme of the week is over-reaction...

Read the originals HERE.
Letter 1 is from a woman whose employer "motivates" top performers by making them do a little dance in the lobby. Prudie says to get together as a group and tell management this is not acceptable. Or threaten a lawsuit for sexual harrassment.
My take: I want to see video of this.

Video letter is from a woman who discovered that a fellow school mom has a relative who is a registered sex offender living with her. Letter writer now wants everyone to shun this woman and her child. Is she over the top? Prudie says, yes. The child, in particular, needs contact with other people who can support her in case of any problems.
My take: Prudie is right. Try to get over your paranoia and do what's best for everyone, including this woman and her child. Or maybe you can just organize the villagers for a torchlight march on this home to send the lot of them to "live" under the bridge.

Letter 2 is from a woman whose BF gets violently angry with objects, such as a slow PC. Prudie diagnoses Intermittend Explosive Disorder, and says the guy's a menace and needs help.
My take: Maybe. But I'd be wary of online diagnoses from the advice lady.

Letter 3 is from a child whose father is incapacitated by a stroke, and whose mother died suddenly a few months ago. It turns out that she was the victim of medical malpractice, with a wrong diangnosis. Their Canadian, so don't want a malpractice suit, but just an apology. Should their father be told? Prudie says, yes, because he's likely to hear it from someone by accident. But tell him the bare minimum, and let him be the judge for how much detail is needed. (Prudie wonders in passing why it would be considered acceptable in Canada to be satisfied with an apology, and not more concrete action.)
My take: I agree with Prudie, including with her amazement that you are expecting merely an apology, rather than action that would protect others from this kind of horrible treatment.

Letter 4 is from someone who has friends over, and has now learned via Facebook that one of them had -- gasp! -- scabies. Shouldn't the guest have stayed home, or at least come to the party with the scarlet letter "S" on his chest? Prudie says that scabies is not that contagious, and that guest may have gotten the OK from his doctor. But if he has transmitted scabies to y'all, he deserves a tongue lashing.
My take: This reminds me of the good old days when the worst thing that could happen in social relations was genital herpes.

Dear Prudence, 17 June 2010, One-by-one

It's Fathers' Day, and the daddying ain't good...

The letters and answers can be found HERE.

Letter 1 is from a woman who was impregnated while having an affair. She and hubbie are cool, and hubbie is raising the child as his own. LW is anguished about her three-year-old finding out who his biodaddy is, and doesn't know when, if, or how to tell him. Prudie says the angst isn't good for anyone. She's lucky that her marriage is now good and that her husband is being a father to the child. Thre's no reason for the boy to learn the truth, and if he does, deal with it then.
My take: As long as you keep obsessing about this deep dark secret, you are ensuring that your son will learn the truth. Chill out, lady!


Video letter is from a college freshman who got an illegal tattoo last summer. Parents hate tattoos. If they found out, they'll take away his car or stop paying for him to waste his time as school. Prudence thinks it's unlikely they'll cut off the tuition. If he's sure he can't hide the tat, he needs to fess up, and lie that he's saving money to get it removed.
My take: Whatever. Tattoos are stupid. You're stupid. But your parents aren't going to disown you over a stupid tattoo.

Letter 2 is just too stupid. In short, guy coaches his son's team, and prefers not to have to attend every match of his daughter's team, too. Wife goes to all, and thinks hubby should too. Prudie agrees this is too much, and he needs a break. Says to threaten a breakdown if he has to attend every game: it worked for her!
My take: Parents are too involved with their kids' activities and not involved enough with their lives. Give them, and you, a break.

Letter 3 is from a divorcée who has raised her kids mostly on her own. The kids are teens now, and hate visitations at their dud of a biodad, who has no interest in them. But Letter Writer loves the kid-free time these visitations engender. Prudie says they're big enough to keep themselves occupied, even if dad ignores them.
My take: Yes.

Letter 4 if from a person whose 70-year-old dad is looking for love and has asked thme to write a recommendation for an online dating service. LW thinks the dad's not so hot, has no relationship with him, and says that dad's got psychological problems. But if she doesn't write the recommendation, dad might be offended. Prudie says she should tell him she doesn't feel comfortable doing this.
My take: Tell me why you're worried about offending this loser of a dad, with whom you have no meaningful relationship?

Dear Prudence, 10 June 2010, One-by-one: Lessons learned

This week's theme: Lessons learned, with the key lesson being these folks are gonna get it good from Bibo Sez.

Letter 1 is from an adult woman who has recently read the diary of her mother, who died when Letter Writer was a teen. In the diary, her mother expresses her disappointment with her daughter (LW), which is at odds of the memories of a loving and supportive mother. How can she keep her good memories of her mother now that she's read the "truth". Prudie advises that a diary is a secret place to write ones fears and anxieties, and that it's not the reality of her relationship with her mother.
My take: Yes. It's not "the" truth, it's one truth, and not the most important. Lesson learned: you know that if a story sounds like Pandora's Box, it's probably gonna have a bad ending.

Video Letter is from a woman who goes out with the girls once in a while, with her husband babysitting. He goes out with the guys, riding MOTORCYCLES, and stays out much later than she does when she goes out. Prudie says this is not a problem unless he's drinking and biking.
My take: So do I. Lesson learned: this will make a great Bibo Sez.

Letter 2 is from a woman who holds church meetings in her home. One of the church ladies told her that her husband had lustful thoughts, and made strange gestures when she saw LW wearing a blouse with the top button unbuttoned. She made LW so uncomfortable (in her own home) that she went and changed blouses. Prudie says it must be hard to be this woman with her philandering spouse, and she should recommend counseling to her, while covering up as much as possible. (Prudie later says she misunderstood the LW, and that the husband was probably not a philanderer, but says LW should still recommend counseling.)
My take: It's not your job to enable this woman's jealousy. Wear what you please. Lesson learned: when you go to church, you meet sexually repressed prudes.

Letter 3 is from a guy who broke up with a girl who writes all about how evil he was on her blog. Prudie says that he should ask her to remove his initials and the photos of him from her blog. She also points out that she's doing herself no good by showing herself to potential dates as a self-centered over-sensitive bitch with no respect for her boyfriends.
My take: Far better to set up a competing blog. Do publish the sex tape. Do tell all the gory details about her personal hygiene. If she bitches, tell her you'll take your blog down when she takes hers down. Lesson learned: do not date women who are literate and computer savvy. I feel a bit of Bibo Sezing coming on.

Letter 4 if from a woman who wants to know if she should give her coworker a heads-up on her approaching termination. Prudie says she should keep quiet, but since the woman is on probation already, she should remind her that she really should be getting ready to look for another job.
My take: You are not your sister's keeper. Lesson learned: your employer is not your daddy, your company is not your family, and you owe them as much loyalty at they owe you, which is to say, not very much.

Que conclure des salles Utopia?

Lire l'article ICI.

En bref, pour punir Israël de son abordage d'un bateau, les cinémas Utopia déprogramment un film israëlien. C'est bien leur droit. Mais j'en tire une conclusion qui est peut être un peu difficile à supporter pour cette chaîne... On déprogramme un film pour dénoncer une action d'un état. Donc, si on programme un film, c'est qu'on approuve la politique de cet état. Programmer un film américain, c'est approuver l'occupation de l'Irak. Programmer un film chinois, c'est soutenir la peine de mort et l'occupation du Tibet. Programme un film marocain, c'est encourager l'occupation du Sahara occidental. Programmer un film iranien, c'est soutenir la peine de mort pour adultère. Programmer un film ougandais, c'est inciter à l'emprisonnement d'homosexuels.

Je trouve la prise de position de l'Utopia en faveur de tous ces états assez répréhensible. Mais à la différence des amis de l'Utopia, je ne vais pas lancer une roquette contre la salle la plus proche.

Pas de pôvres chez nous, s'il vous plaît

Claude Gouasgen, Maire du XVIe, dans Le Parisien:
Q: ll est reproché au XVIe arrondissement de ne compter que 2,5 % de logements sociaux.
R: La loi prévoit 20 % de logements sociaux par commune… C’est donc la ville entière de Paris qui est concernée, pas chaque arrondissement !

Dont acte. Lorsque le Maire du XVIe et ses amis maires de droite réclamera le contrôle de moyens financiers et autres pour gérer les affaires de son arrondissement, on ui répondra que l'arrondissement n'est qu'une simple référence géographique, et non pas une entité tant soit peu autonome.

Dear Prudence, 3 June 2010, One-by-one

Does a lawyer need Prudie to know what a memo is? Is a Facebook message by definition stalking? Is it a Bobbit when you're divorced? Is it graverobbing when you're reclaiming a book you lent to the deceased? Why is Richard Blumenthal writing to Prudie? These questions answered, with pictures!

The stuff is from HERE.

Letter 1 is from a young lady lawyer who came to work early and found a senior partner with his briefs down and his badgering his witness. Should was grossed out, but doesn't know if she should tattle. Prudie says that partner was gross, but was as embarrassed as her, and she would not win a he-said/she-said. But she should write a "memo" to put this on record in case he tries to get her recused so as to eliminate a hostile witness.
My take: Letter Writer is smart enough to get through law school, but can't figure this out herseslf? As for the "memo" (I don't know why that word irked me here... maybe it was because of Prudie's link to a step-by-step guide on using Word to write a memo... presumably even the dumbest lawyer knows how to record pertinent information in writing.)

The Video Letter is from a young guy who has the hots for his Starbucks caffein dispenser (hate the word "barista"). He avoids mixing his milk with his coffee and his dates with his servers, so how to make a move? Which is less creepy: a Facebook message or a face-to-face askout? Prudie says (duh) to aks her to her face. And if either is uncomfortable about the askout, he can (duh) find another Starbucks around the corner.
My take: It's not at all creepy to get an askout message from someone who is a Facebook friend of a Facebook friend. No, not at all. Doofus.

Letter 2 is from a divorced mother whose ex has told their 15-year-old son that his mother is a tramp and a whore (what does that say about his taste in women?). Mom found out by snooping on son's PC after he returned from a visitation with dad even more sulky than usual (I'm going out on a limb and assuming a 15-year-old boy is sulky). How can she defend herself without revealing her snooping? Prudie says to admit to the snooping, and explain the truth.
My take: Cop to the snooping, tell the truth, AND ask your son why he thinks his father would believe that telling him this shit would be right, even if it were true? Then go to your ex's place and cut off his balls and let him bleed to death.

Letter 3 is from a girl in her 20s who was in a car accident with her BFF. LW survived, but BFF died. Now LW would like to get back from BFF's parents a book she lent to BFF, as well as a few trinkets. Prudie says that LW doesn not have the right to rummage through the girl's things or assault her parents with her inane request to get back that book she lent.
My take: Wrong girl died.

Letter 4 is from a woman whose hubbie is a veteran who has lost a leg due to reasons unrelated to his military service. People ask him if he's a vet, and he says yes. People therefore jump to the conclusion that he lost his leg in combat, and become all thankful and weepy. Prudie says all this is none of anybody's business in the first place, so thank the folks for their appreciation and move on.
My take: Yeah. Or you could print up business cards with the whole story in very fine print, and pass them out whenever anyone asks these personal questions.