Dear Prudence, 26 Aug 2010, One-by-one: Maybe Prudence does hate men

The letters and Prudie's stupid answers can be found HERE.

Read other responses on THE FLY.
Maybe Prudence does hate men. Or maybe she's useless on an equal-opportunity basis

Letter 1 is from a guy who's crazy wife assaulted him, provoking him to respond in kind. Prudie says to get help.
My take: I guess so. But when I hear the bla bla "self-esteem issues" bla bla bla, I don't hold out much hope for good behavior. I think I'd get out while the getting is less bad than it will be when babies 2, 3 and 4 arrive.

Video letter is from a woman has a newish BF who says he moves slow and who has yet to say those three little words. No, not "fuck off, now!" or "You needy bitch!". Prudie says she's right to hate him, hate him, hate him. Or rather, find a way to discuss the issue bla bla bla. No help at all.

My take: Lay off the guy!

Letter 2 is from a girl who is socially inept and thinks she has Asperger's. Her parents hate mental illness. Should she tell them what she suspects? Prudie says that she should break the news as if she were preparing for one of those science projects she excells at (cuz the LW is Asian, of course) and tell them it makes her exceptional and likely to do well in science or something.
My take: Prudie's putting a lot of the burden on this 14-year-old girl. How about support from your doctor? Your school counselors?

Letter 3 is from a woman who preferred to go on her prepaid vacation to Aruba rather than to the funerals of two uncles. She worries that she's a "bad person". Prudie says she is.
My take: So do I. She should have planted a palm tree in their name while there. Or said that she was going to a previouslee scheduled memorial service for Natalee Holloway.

Letter 4 is from a temp worker who's been wrangled into doing some regular grocery shopping (bread and fruit) for an old man at work. She's noted other temps doing the same for him. She thinks that he has problems doing his grocery shopping. Prudie says to take this to her superiors for them to ensure that he has the social support he needs.
My take: I guess. She could also recommend a place that delivers, or an online grocery website. What does he do for doctor's appointments, etc.? Then again, he may just like having an excuse for interactions with pretty young temps. Then again, this letter may be a fake, inspired by a recent episode of Mad Men ("Did you get pears?!").

Dear Prudence, 19 Aug 2010, All-in-one: Mommy Dimmest

The five letters this composite is based on can be found HERE.


Dear Prudence,

I’m writing for some advice about a conflict with my son’s father.

We had a great relationship for the first few weeks, until he discovered that I was a nymphomaniac with a serious sex addiction problem, due to my being sexually assaulted as a child (that's the story I tell... in fact, the guy I accused of molesting me was just a mildly creepy guy with Down Syndrome I saw at an Interstate rest area). He was a virgin when we first hooked up, and I figured I would have a better chance of bedding (or back-seating him, as it turns out) if I told him I was a virgin too. When he finally figured out that the stains on our mattress were not related to a “woman’s problem” (the first explanation that came to me when he asked what they were), but rather were the remains of my six other boyfriends at the time, he dumped me, saying that I was “not only a slut, but a liar”.

Anyhow, before he left, he got me knocked up, and once our son was born, he started raising him. I do have visitation rights once a week, so our son stays in my small one-bedroom apartment a few days each month.

I’d like to have an apartment with a spare bedroom for my son, but I don’t have much ready cash, since I’ve not been too lucky career-wise. I tend to get fired for fraternization with the male staff, which they claim impairs teamwork. Anyhow, I did have a lead for a great job recently, but it didn’t work out. I have a strong suspicion that my bitch of a cousin, who’s quite high up in the firm, had something to do with blackballing me. Jealous cunt.

Because my place is so small, my son sleeps in my bed when he’s here, unless I have a guy over (which is most of the time), when he sleeps on the loveseat in the living room.

Now that the kid’s hit his growth spurt, the loveseat’s getting too small. The kid’s dad says that sleeping in my bed is inappropriate (whatever), and has given me some cash to buy a new sofabed. The thing is, one of my current BF’s has given me an engagement ring, and when I went back to the jewellery shop to have it resized, I let myself be talked into trading up to a bigger model, using the sofabed money to pay the difference.

The father is furious about this, and is threatening to have my parental rights removed.

My question, Prudie, is: platinum or white gold?

Yours,

Mommy Dimmest

Dear Prudence, 19 Aug 2010, One-by-one: Guilty, guilty, guilty

The originals are HERE.

This week, it's mostly folks who feel guilty because they should feel guilty but shouldn't or should feel guilty.

Letter 1 is from a woman who may have accused a man of inappropriate sexual behavior back when she was 6. She feels guilty. Prudie says that it's unlikely anything came of the matter, that she can try to learn more about the incident, and that she should atone by doing good works.
My take: Yeah. Let go of the guilt, girl.


Video letter is from a guy whose fiancée exchanged the engagement ring they chose together for a bigger model. Money's not the problem, but rather the fact that it's no longer "their" ring. Prudie says it's not that big a deal, and suggest making it "their" ring again by putting it in a box with a bow and re-proposing.
My take: You mistake (in addition to your engagement to this insensitive person) was in giving her a say in the choice of the ring in the first place. People: if you want to follow some sexist anachronistic tradition (ie, the woman wearing an engagement ring), you've got to follow it all the way. The guy chooses and buys the ring, and it is a COMPLETE SURPRISE to the gal. She has no need to know the price, and she can take the ring or leave it. If she wants to have a say in it, she better be giving him a chance to have a say in the choice of his mangagement ring (ugh). I say call the whole thing off, cause I'm getting cold feet about this marriage.

Letter 2 is from a woman whose unpleasant and unemployable relative is applying for a job in her firm. Should she nix the hire? Prudie says yes.
My take: Of course you should! She's your relative by an accident of nature. You don't want to work with her? Make sure it doesn't happen. And the fact that her employment would be bad for your firm is just the icing on the cake. No guilt!

Letter 3 is a woman who lied to her perfect, wonderful, amazing BF about how many sexual partners she had. She wants to come clean. Prudie says he should never have asked, and she has no reason to feel guilty.
My take: A guy who asks the question is not a perfect BF. And is he still insanely jealous about previous BF? If so, DTMFA. You're not guilty.

Letter 4 is from a divorcée who has custody of her "minor" son (is he 4 years old or 17 years old?)a few days a month. She has no spare bedroom for him, so he sleeps in her bed. And when her BF sleeps over, son sleeps on the couch. Her ex-husband thinks this is inappropriate. Prudie agrees with husband.
My take: So do I. You can't not sleep with your BF a couple of times a month? You can't provide a cot or an airbed for him? You can't screen off a corner of the living room? The only place for the kid to sleep is your bed, unless, that is, you have to shtup your BF? You are one bad mother... GUILTY!

The news from France

Via Google Translation, an article from Le Parisien:

MONTPELLIER
The "great men" of George Frêche are controversial
Claude Massonnet | 08/18/2010, 7:00

The first five statues depicting political characters selected by the historian Georges Frêche, president of the Agglomeration of Montpellier (Hérault), will be erected this morning in a climate of intense controversy. The five monumental statues 3.5 m high are the emblematic figures of Roosevelt, Churchill, de Gaulle, Jaures and Lenin.

They were sculpted by François Cacheux his workshop in Maine-et-Loire, and then cast in bronze in the Paris region.

A former Maoist

"I chose these men because they have played a decisive role in the destiny of the world. And because I have a deep admiration for what they have done, including Lenin during the Russian Revolution. Jean Jaures is the only one who did not run a country. But he brought us so much," analyzes Georges Frêche, Left-wing President of the Languedoc-Roussillon regional council. The former Maoist, who made his career in the Socialist party before being expelled in January 2007 after his statements about blacks in the France national football team, is the instigator of this rather crazy project.

A second shipment expected in late September will complete the collection with Golda Meir, Mao, Gandhi, Mandela and Nasser. "General de Gaulle should not be standing alongside Lenin or Mao. While the national government is reducing spending, local government is installing statues at the expense of taxpayers, "denounced Arnaud Julien, the departmental head of the UMP, which is preparing to respond on the ground. The Green Party of Montpellier has said that they intended to remove these statues as soon as they become able to do so.

The first five "historic" works will be installed this morning in the neighborhood of Odysseum between a gokart track, a bowling alley, and the aquarium. Official justification: to make the younger generation think about the history of political ideas.

Georges Frêche is hesitant to bring Stalin in his team. "It's too early. He is still regarded as the butcher of Europe,"lamented the former mayor of Montpellier, who plans to inaugurate the square when all will be complete.

Venting

There's this blog, which I won't link to... and it's full of mistakes that send me peeving. I've got to bitch somewhere, and this seems a safe place.

It's always a nice surprise to get an upgrade to business class but when you are going to be on a plane for over eight consecutive hours it's an especially nice surprise.
Are there flights of eight non-consecutive hours?

This is a picture of John and I
Argh.

This is a picture of the Cathedral that was started in the 1300 and completed in the 1800.

This is a picture of the Reichstag which is essentially there National Capital.
There's the capital of Germany. It's Berlin.

We took a one day train trip to Luxenburg so we could get another Country in and visit a city that we have always wanted to see.

Dear Prudence, 12 August 2010, One-by-one: Family, friends, and debts of cash and services

The Prude in Chief can be found HERE.

Letter 1 is from a woman who dropped out of college to care for her dying mother. She borrowed some money from her father for living expenses during that time, and now dad wants the money back. On top of this, he has shared nothing of mom's insurance payout. Prudie says to have a heart-to-heart and be ready to part ways with evil dad.
My take: Remember Strangers on a Train? Take out an insurance policy on dad and get aboard a train.

Video letter is from a woman who worries about what last name to use if whe marries her BF. Stupid question. I've dealt with this already, HERE.
And some phunny names HERE.

Letter 2 is another letter demonstrating that cross-cultural marriages are problematic. Letter Writer's overseas inlaws paid for a good chunk of her newlywed house, and now they're coming to America to live in the master bedroom. Prudie says to just say no, take: sell the house.
My take: Duh. Two tidy little houses in the same city are what's called for her.

Letter 3 is beyond me. What's with Prudie saying "And if he gets the nerve to ask you out, tell him you're not in the market"??? How dare a guy with acne ask out a single woman!

Letter 4 is from a woman who wants other people to pay for her charitable donations. Prudie says to let it go, but not just yet.
My take: Let it go, now.