Advice Illustrated

Dear Prudence,

I've been blessed with good looks, which I work to maintain for my own self-esteem. The trouble is that people attribute what I believe are earned accomplishments to my appearance. For instance, I recently began a career in sales and in my first month grossed more than all of the other new associates combined. I worked hard to do this and dressed professionally and appropriately (my attire has not been a point of contention), but a number of people have commented that my success is due to my looks. I won't deny that my appearance could not have hurt, but I find these comments hurtful. Thus far, I've responded by stating that I'm just a workaholic, but the comments persist. These types of comments pervade my day-to-day dealings, as well: "Oh, the handyman only helped you because you're pretty." How can I discourage or deflect these comments?

—Hard Worker

Dear Worked Hard,

How can you discourage these comments? Disfigure yourself.

-- Me

Video is from a first-time dog-owner who gets weepy at the thought of having to put his dog to sleep. Prudie says to get over it. I say he's sick, sick, sick and needs help.

Letter 2 is from a woman who hates her parents. Does she have to spend Thanksgiving with them?
Yes, because you need to be punished for being stupid enough to ask this question.



Letter 3 is from a woman whose husband has a too-close relationship with an ex-colleague. Prudie says she's right to be jealous and she has to give an ultimatum. I agree that bringing the woman's car to LW's home to wax it, the straw that broke the camel's back, is too strange. Ultimatum away!



Letter 4 is a whining counselor who's tired of her friends and family moaning about small things when there are people with worse problems in the world.
My response: there are people with worse problems than yours. STFU:

Advice Illustrated. I'm cool with that (mostly).

Letter 1 is from a guy who has never been with anyone other than his wife. He's now wondering what it's like with other women.
Prudie suggests a separation or open marriage, but in any case, talking about it. I'm cool with that.

Video letter is from a woman who has an "artist" friend. Friend keeps giving horrible works of art as gifts despite lots of heavy hints.
Prudie suggests a final warning, then any additional monstrosities get dumped. I'm cool with that.

Letter 2 is from a (let's say) woman who is deformed from previously working for a control freak. She can't deal with the freedom to fail in her new position.
Prudie recommends prolonged exposure therapy, which is specifically designed to treat PTSD; or mindfulness therapy; or more traditional cognitive therapy. I'm cool with that. Or just stop worrying.

Letter 3 is from a child whose divorced has told him me about an affair that he recently had with LW's roommate's mother, whose husband is terminally ill. Father said he ended it when she went crazy and started to get possessive. Roommate's family is planning on having Thanksgiving dinner at LW's house. LW doesn't want to be around roommate's mother but doesn't want to tell all.
Prudie thinks LW should suck it up. I think LW should do the soup kitchen thing.

Letter 4 is from a woman who smokes pot now and then with hubby and friends. She fears her kids will find out. Her husband says deny, deny, deny. Shouldn't they be honest?
Prudie says LW and husband are dope fiends who will go to jail and destroy their family. Maybe. Prudie assumes as much... after suggesting they do a test by going off the daily dope for a week. Prudie seems to know that husband won't make it.
I say that sometime's it's great not to have kids.