DP Jan 7: One-by-one

Boring lot.

LW1 is a private tutor whose male teenage pupils keep putting their hands down their pants. Prudie consults her expert (14-year-old daughter) who says that the boys do it when they need to motivate themselves or when they're nervous. Prudie tells LW to just keep using disinfect. Prudie is whacked.
My take: Sorry, it's gross. Maybe an ahem and a raised eyebrow would be effective. And "it itches" is not a good reason. If he says "it itches", pull out the jock itch spray.

LW2 is a woman whose father is about to die. Father was an alcoholic who was emotionally absent from her life and about whom she has nothing good to say. Mother wants LW to deliver the eulogy at the upcoming funeral. LW doesn't want to. Prudie says she should talk about father's "struggle with alcoholism" (of which LW gives no indication there was one...) and find something, anything, nice to say.
My take: No comment. (But skip the alcoholism thing, maybe....)

LW3 is taking piano lessons from a teach with whom she's become friends. But she has also started taking lessons with a better teacher who is cheaper to boot. Can she dump her friend-cum-teacher? Prudie says yes.
My take: Prudie's advice is good. If the friendship doesn't survive, it wasn't a real friendship, was it?

LW4 is a woman who objects to receiving requests for first dates by test message. If they can't get up the nerve to call, why should she go out with them. Prudie tells her to stop being a Luddite and catch up with the times.
My take: Text them back: "Sounds interesting. Give me a call."