The original are
HERE.
There are Christmas chocolates in the supermarkets, and Thanksgiving letters to Prudie. Happy holidays!
Letter 1 is from a woman who lies, lies, lies. She recently lied to her husband about spending money at a day spa, and now he thinks she's lying about the paternity of their future first child. Prudie says she needs to get help, and to convince her husband that she's serious about breaking the lying habit.
I say LW should give thanks for such a patient husband. LW is too immature to bring a child into this world. Give it up for adoption or leave it with your husband and go far, far away until you can learn to face "confrontation".
The video letter is from a young woman whose boobs are too big. She's going to have a breast reduction. What should she tell people? Prudie says it's not polite for people to notice any change. Ignore any untoward comments or questions.
I say you should give thanks you have the means to get the breast reduction. And that if anyone asks what happened to your boobs, you reply: "What do you think?" and turn your back to them in a move that will now present fewer issues with rotational inertia.
Letter 2 is from a parent whose teen daughter has just been diagnosed with Asperger's. LW realizes why family Thanksgivings have always been so trying for her, and wants to have a small nuclear family version this year. But how to explain their absence from the big family bash? Prudie suggests saying what she has just written, but to find a way of letting her be part of the family do.
I say you should give thanks you have a loving family, and that you should listen to Prudie and stop treating your daughter as if she had suddently become this fragile flower to keep in the hothouse. What's the big difference now that you know? If you managed to get through Thanksgiving before the diagnosis, why not now? And with your knowledge, you should be able to make it much more enjoyable for everyone.
Letter 3 is from a woman whose mother refuses to let her host Thanksgiving, because people like to eat "good food" for that festive meal. Prudie says not to boycott T'ing, and to be sensitive to her mother's fears of becoming a useless old hag.
I say let's give thanks we live in a country where we're free to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. It seems to provide as much tsuris and strive as joy and good-feeling.
Letter 4 is from a woman who's boss had an affair with a coworker and left the firm for a while. Now he's back, which is better for the firm. But at LW's workplace shower, LW blurted out a comment about manager's qualifications to offer marriage advice. Everyone laughed but she feels horrible. Prudie says that it's no big deal, but she should apologize.
I say let's give thanks this is the only problem you've had holding an inappropriate social event at work. Enough with Thanksgiving, enough with bridal showers, enough with mixing the personal and the professional. You may continue to celebrate Christmas.
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