Advice Illustrated: Prudie, please give me an excuse not to shut up

The originals are HERE.

All the writers are asking Prudie for permission to open their pieholes. People, you can open your piehole. That's why it opens.

Letter 1 is from a woman whose brother is in the military, serving in Afghanistan. How should she react when the creepy liberals around her denigrate the military? Prudie provides some conversation-stoppers. I agree with her, except for the notion that those in military actions who commit crimes are arrested, judged, and punished. Some are, many aren't, including the ones truly responsible. And Prudie: self-hating liberal much? Sucking up to Plotz?

Video letter is from an artist who offered some folks a free work of art and sent the wrong catalog to choose from. One of the persons chose her most expensive works. How does she deal? Prudie provides a rather obvious response for a ridiculous question. I say a contract is a contract, and you better make that custom piece for this guy!

Letter 2 is from a woman whose doggie was killed in an unfortunate accident. She wants a new one, which will cost a bundle. Can she make the woman who accidently killed the dog pay? Prudie says she shouldn't expect anything, but she can ask. And she wonders why the woman needs a dog that costs a grand, when there are plenty of dogs available in shelters for nominal fees. I say this woman is a bitch. She lost control of her dogs (after one shits in the public area of her building) and one is killed. It's sad, but it's her fault. And there is no justification in paying so much for a dog (which she didn't actually do... if she had paid that much for the dead dog, she would have said so). I hate you.

Letter Writer 3 is being pressured to attend an annual fundraiser in honor of a deceased friend. They can't afford the show-off event, and make a more modest donation directly to the charity. How do they deal with the pressure from the hosts of the bash? Prudie says asking why she doesn't attend is rude, and she doesn't have to explain. I might be tempted to respond: if you really cared about our dead friend, you would make your donation directly, without using it as an excuse for a social occasion.

Letter Writer 4 was with her engaged friend when they walked in on the fiancé bonking a bimbo in their soon-to-be conjugal bed. Fiancé claims it was a one-time thing, and friend has forgiven him, and will go ahead with the wedding. Should LW try to talk friend out of the marriage. Prudie says yes. I don't really care.