Advice Illustrated: Duh

A real week of non-stop duhs. These people!

Letter 1 is from a woman who's dating a wonderful man. She found out by chance that he was arrested for soliciting a minor for sex over the internet. She would prefer not to know this... What to do? Prudie says she has to talk to the BF about it and make a decision based on what he says and his demeanor. I say, duh.
Deserves it? No.

Video is from an adult whose parents are divorcing and are burdening her with details of how horrible the other parent is. She wants to tactfully tell them to shut up. Prudie says she doesn't need to be tactful, just to tell them to shut up. I say, duh.
Deserves it? Yes. She needed to put a stop to this day 1.

Letter 2 is from a guy who was caught looking at his GF's phone when trying to find her parents' phone number to ask for their blessing of his proposal to their daughter. She is furious about his "invasion of her privacy", despite his perfectly innocent explanation. She did accept the proposal, but remains wounded, injured, peeved and perturbed.
Before reading Prudie's answer, I say: DTMFA. Why would you want to live the rest of your life with a person who can't let go of a petty grievance? Frankly, this reaction would make me very suspicious. I don't want my BF looking at what's on my phone, but I don't have anything to hide, and if he told me why he went looking, I would let it go. And yeah, LW is a superdoof for using her phone to get the number rather than... directory assistance? Internet? Why didn't he already have the number (after four years and being ready to marry her)? And doesn't this prove that the outmoded "tradition" of asking for a woman's hand in marriage should be deep sixed? Now I will read Prudie's answer...
She basically agrees with me, without going all the way to DTMFA. She's a softy, that Prudie. In any case, this too is a "duh".
Deserves it? Yes. Asking her hand in marriage and using her phone to get the parents' number makes you a worthy target for all the crazy you're getting.

Letter 3 is from a young person who works/ed for Borders. He wants to get gift cards for his laid off coworkers but doesn't know how he can use his limited budget fairly. Before reading Prudie's answer, here's mine: You are a graduate student who had to take a part-time job, but you have money to spend on your coworkers' severance gift? You're unemployed, too, honey. It's not your job to take care of these people: they'll be getting unemployment insurance (and some will loll about enjoying living on the dole, as we all know). What kind of gift certificates were you going to get? B&N? Amazon? Save your money, you twit. Now, what does Prudence say?
Prudence says he's a twit, and that if he's really concerned about their well-being, the best thing he can do is keep in contact and make them part of his job network. So, duh.
Deserves it? Yes, if what he deserves is paying money he ought not be paying. He's a dolt.

Letter 4 is from a woman who wants to name her first child Lolita if it's a girl, and Humbert if it's a boy. Her husband thinks she's nuts. Before reading Prudie's answer, I will say that I agree with the husband. Lolita is a skunked name, like Adolf. Or even Adolph. What does the Prudester say?
Sbe graciously tells LW that she's nuts. So, duh.
Deserves it? Yes, she deserves to give birth to a child who will hate her for life.