Advice Unillustrated

Letter 1 is from a woman married to the most wonderful man in the world. Except of course he’s got a fatal flaw. In this case, he doesn’t enjoy their wonderful children. He hates their messiness and their habit of interrupting conversations. LW’s mom thinks he parents as he was parented, and he turned out great, so LW should STFU. She’ll be leaving them alone with him and he’s telling everyone willing to listen that he’s gonna turn the kids around and get them to shape up (or ship out?).

I say you need to think about which is worse for these kids: leaving them with this warped bully or divorcing (but even that won’t stop him from tormenting them). Still, you need to put your foot down and get family counseling.

I like Prudie’s response: “Your husband turned out great except for the glaring fault that he’s a dismissive, inflexible, punitive father.” She also says to get help.


Video letter is from a tattooed lady who wants to know how to deal with the threats posed by her tattoos, which she currently hides at work. Prudie agrees that given the number of young people with tattoos, the inked will win in the end. She can keep hiding hers, and if anyone discovers her secret, tell them to STFU. I guess… but this very question makes me think that it is fair to judge the tattooed on the basis of poor judgment. I hate them.


Letter 2 is from a woman who “was passed over for a promised promotion in favor of a supremely annoying, fresh-out-of-college Manic Pixie Dream Girl who doesn't know the first thing about the job”. She has proof that girl is sleeping with the boss. Oh, and her father is on the board of the company (isn’t that enough for her to have gotten the job without sleeping with the boss?). She wants to blackmail boss for a raise, blackmail the slut to resign, or do something else suggested by Prudie.
My take is that you are one crazy woman. And just how does this raise make or break your baby birthing? Two people with jobs can have one child: it’s done all the time. Prudie agrees with the birthing question and the rest. My advice: either plan A or plan B, and see how easy it is to raise a child when you’re in prison for extortion. 

Letter 3 is from a upper-middle-aged married man who’s got the hots for a younger woman. He gets tongue tied around her and would like to get over his fear, noting that he is not going to try to get in her pants even though she is the “most attractive woman he’s ever met.”
Prudie and I agree that he needs to get real and keep his piehole shut.


Letter 4 is from a guy who recently reconnected with a formerly close friend. Via Facebook he can observe that his friend is a red nuker while he is a blue exile to socialist Europe. He feels restricted in what he can discuss.
Prudie tells him to get over himself. I agree, but have had to unfriend or hide the posts of a couple of people, including an old college friend who it appears has become somewhat of a star in extremist circles.