Thursday, November 18, 2010

Advice Illustrated, 18 November 2010: House rules!

Do people need a reminder that the host chooses the guests and sets house rules? I guess so...

Originals HERE.

Letter 1 is from a woman who told her sister that she would be bringing her BF of 5 months along with BF's daughter and granddaughter (!) to the family Thanksgiving sister hosts. Sister is freaking out because while the rest of the family would tolerate BF, they can't stand the thought of having his brood there, too. LW offered not to come, but sister wants her and BF there. What to do? Prudie says LW should drop in, with various configurations suggested.
I say, why are you inviting guests to another person's social occasion? You say: "I said that I would be inviting a gentleman I have been dating for about five months, as well as his daughter and granddaughter". It's her house, and even on a special case event like TG, she chooses who comes to her house. I can't help wonder if there isn't more going on here than meets the eye, when what meets the eye is that you are a pushy broad. Your sister, however, is a loony if she breaks down and suggests cancelling TG. Back to the rule above: it's her house, her dinner, and she can invite whomever she wants, including your BF's progeny, and barring any horrible past behavior or criminal record, they have nothing to say about it. I suggest having dinner at the IHOP; where you can all have separate booths.

The video letter is from a young woman who works in a small firm where her colleagues are all trying to fix her up with an available male colleague. She would ignore it, but she's into the dude. Prudie says go for it.
I say, yawn. I'm having trouble with my internet today, and I am annoyed having to start and stop and reboot and reload and all sorts of crap to hear this dumb letter.

Letter 2 is from a person whose widowed mother has met a new guy. He now comes to every family celebration, and for reasons undisclosed in the letter, all mention of dad is now off the table (supposedly out of deference to new BF). She complained about this (not sure what) to mom, and they had a fight. Prudie says to apologize to mom but to say that if LW feels she wants to speak about her dad, she will.
I say that there is a problem here... you clearly resent your mother's new partner being part of your family. Tough toenails, girl: he is, so deal. Has your mother asked you not to speak of your father because you are unable to do so in a fashion other than one in which new BF is attacked? Yes, on principle you should of course be talking about your father. But I think there's more going on here.

Letter 3 is from a woman who made the mistake of moving in with a guy and waiting around for him to ask her to marry him. He's not going to (because she's snooped around looking for a ring, and nada). Now, while she's invited to his folks' for TG, her parents aren't, because they're not married. Prudie says it's time for her to use that piehole for something other than the pumpkin variety (and BJs) and to SPEAK TO THIS GUY. First, about his rude parents, then about their future.
I say, hell yes! Or maybe go on a sex strike. It's the perfect passive-aggressive response to such situations. (Although an explicit sex strike would be fine: something like: "If we're not enough of a couple for my parents to join us for TG, we're certainly not enough of a couple for you to put your penis in my vagina".)

Letter 4 is from a woman who hosts the family TG. She doesn't like smoking in the house, so has told the smokers that they'll need to go outdoors or in the garage. She's made an exception for her 91-yo grandmother, and that has opened the door to all sorts of whining from the smokers. Prudence very stupidly says that grandmother needs to follow the rules.
I say: HUH? It's her house, she sets the rules, and she can create the reasonable and non-capricious exceptions to the rules. This is why we need laws creating non-smoking areas: because smokers are often boors who don't respect other people, including their guests. And this is why people can't stand militant non-smokers like Prudie, who are unable to get over their loathing of the cigs to allow an old lady a little pleasure in comfort.

1 comment:

CoolOne said...

That picture of the grandmother was seriously disturbing!