Thursday, December 30, 2010

Advice Illustrated: You are so stupid, people

A better lot of letters this week.

Letter 1 is from a man who divorced his wife after she went on a sex strike because he wouldn't commit to having a baby. Now his GF has announced she's pregnant and he's delighted and will be marrying her. Ex is bitter, in particular that he didn't tell her himself, even though they haven't spoken in ages. Was he wrong? Prudence says they both were wrong.
I say: Just how did GF get pregnant? Was it with your consent? It doesn't sound like it. So thanks, dude, for confirming the message that a woman needs to lie and cheat and get knocked up to get a guy to commit.

Letter 2 is from an older person with tight finances whose cross-country friend sent her a gift of cash to visit her. The money transfer went sour, leaving the LW with no money and extra fees. Friend made non-refundable plane reservations, but LW have no money to go now. Friend is demanding a refund. Prudence says too bad for friend.
I say, WTF? How can you deposit an unsigned cashier's check? And why send a cashier's check anyway? Who does that for this kind of transaction? And just how did LW get into trouble because of the check? That was for the trip, not for her car payment, so what was she going to use for the trip? And what was the money for if not the plane ticket, which now appears to have been bought by the friend? Shenanigans!

Letter 3 is from a person whose business partner keeps going walkabout due to grief over loss of a parent (two years ago!). Should LW talk to partner? Prudie says, duh, yes tell her she needs help.
I say, duh.

Letter 4 is from a coed who made the mistake of not attending a university at which virtually all juniors study abroad (they exist!). Her BF of five years (meaning they're an item since they were juniors in HS?) doesn't want her to go abroad because she has no money. She wants to go, but he's holding her back or something. Prudie says go for it, and look for ways to get some funding. And maybe find a new guy on the way.
I say, duh. Although traveling the world and study abroad usually don't work out so well, since when you study abroad, they kind of expect you to attend classes and things. But go for it! And as Dan Savage says, how many people end up marrying their first romantic partner?

Friday, December 17, 2010

Boy do I hate Marie-France Leblanc

Marie-France Leblanc is the "star" of a docu-soap, Family Renovation. It's a Canadian DIY TV show (we get lots of Canadian DIY shows, not many US ones here, probably because the Canadian ones get public funding for dubbing into French, whereas a French TV channel would have to pay to dub a US one).

The woman likes to change houses every year. She also likes to put out the babies and has 5 kids under 11 when she decides it's time for a new house. But buying an exisitng house or having a new one built isn't for her. She has her husband buy a modest existing house so she can add two stories to make it her dream house (for this year). So far this is not outlandish and not TV-worthy, despite being a form of child abuse (she promised her oldest child she would stop making him move every year, but she just hhhhassss to have a new house to make her life better or something). I think it's just so she can have an excuse to have a bunch of guys whose balls she can bust, since her husband's balls are all squishy by now. You would think that his poor busted balls would at least prevent him from impregnating her, but I think she must scare the hell out of his testes every two years to get some baby juice to pop out a new one.

Anyhow, what makes this TV-worthy is that instead of staying in her existing house or renting a house during the work, she decides they're all gonna live in the house as it is gutted and has its roof removed. A house with no roof and no walls during hurrican season in Halifax, a house with no heat for her children as winter comes.

At one point she sends out an APB on space heaters, desperate to warm her frostbitten offspring. No risk of carbon monoxide poisoning or a fire there, of course. And that plastic tarp that seals off the sleeping area will look great when it goes up in flames.

Oh, and what are they sleeping on behind the tarp (the seven of them)? On moldy mattresses. Why are the mattresses moldy? Because although she did have the good sense to schedule the roof removal during their summer vacation, she didn't want the trouble or expense of moving her belongings into storage during that time, so all her belongings suffered water damage from a "surprise" summer thundestorm.

You might think that living in the worksite would at least keep her on top of the project, but she doesn't even get that right. She takes weeks and weeks to order teh windows, preventing the finish work and installation of insulation and siding. She can't make up her mind about the flooring. The only thing that gets her to make a decision there is that her husband wants carpeting in the bedrooms, so of course, that pushes her to decide for wood flooring.

But what makes me really hate this woman is that the noise and disturbance has seriously upset their lovely family dog, which keeps crapping in the basement for the workers to step in.

I hate Marie-France Leblanc.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Advice Illustrated

They're here.

Letter 1 is from a dumb, dumb, stupid, foolish, idiot of a woman whose fiancé wants her to get a polygraph test before getting married. LW is addressing an expert on the subject, but you don't need to be one to tell her to please, please, please marry this guy so you can keep Dear Prudie in business for the next 50 years.

Video letter is from a woman whose son's new stepmom dresses like a slut. Prudie says to MHOB. I say, go for it! I look forward to future letters.

Letter 2 is from a woman whose father is eating himself to death. Prudie says to play on his love for his children. I'm saying it won't work, and he's probably gonna die.

Letter 3 is from a woman who has gone without a raise in 10 years, who will be losing some medical coverage, and whose employer expects her to maintain, nay to increase, her mandatory voluntary donations to the company's charity. Prudie says to play it safe and continue to cough up.
I say, again, oh, those foolish French who unionize and defend their rights!

Letter 4 is from a woman whose parents have moved to a smaller house. When she visits,she feels unwelcome. Prudie says to have it out with them.
I say to get a hotel room, and when they ask you why, to tell them then.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Advice Illustrated: Ho, ho, ahem

The originals are HERE.

Letter 1 is from a girl whose BFF is sleeping with a teacher. BFF wants LW to cover for her so she can bonk the teacher. Prudie says LW has to tattle to protect other girls from this creep.
I say, I will forgive your stupidity because you are a child. Your friendship with this girl is going to last a few more months, tops, and it's not very friendlike to put you in the position for lying to cover her misbehavior. Please tattle away and get the guy locked up.

Video letter is from a woman who met her husband while she worked as a lap dancer. How do they explain to their snobby neighbors how they met? Prudie says to tell them that she was working as a waitress to put herself through college.
I came up with the same idea, but even lest loose with the truth: say you were working at a bar. Do you really need us to come up with this white lie?

Letter 2 is from a woman who has just lost her baby. They're traveling to spend Xmas with her MIL, who wants Xmas as usual, which for her, requires extensive gift shopping and staying in your home, while LW would prefer gift cards and staying at a hotel. Prudie repeats my wisdom from Monday and tells her that she's a grown-up and she can do as she pleases. And get husband on board.
I say: why is it always the women who have to deal with the MIL? Where are the husbands? If the straights want to keep marriage to themselves, they need to start doing a better job of it!

Letter 3 is from a woman who has traditionally welcomed her daughter's best friend and her children to their Xmas celebration, but who no longer has room for them as her own children have begun coupling and reproducing. She feels bad about no longer extending the invite. Prudie says that that's the way things go sometimes, and to find a different way of involving this family in your celebrations.
I say this is a great pity. This family is now part of your own Xmas tradition, and I would hope you might find a new way of celebrating. If you can't fit everyone around the table, how about a buffet or something? Or two services, one for the kids and one for the adults?

Letter 4 is about no getting thank you notes and college funds and I don't want to recap it cuz I'm tired. What Prudie says will do. And I repeat my question about savings bonds.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Advice Illustrated, 2 December 2010: Comfort and joy

The original stuff is HERE.
Letter 1 is from a woman who won't indulge in her husband's desires for BDSM. Should she let him see a professional dominatrix? Prudie says yes (to my surprise).
So do I.

Video letter is from a woman who is friends with a couple that behaves violently with each other. She doesn't feel like staying friends, but thinks her friendly duty requires her to intervene. Prudie says that she can offer some advice, but feel free to leave if they don't change.

Letter 2 is from a woman whose MIL likes to take her daughter out for the afternoon. The problem is that MIL is a terrible driver. Her own daughters refuse to let her drive with their own kids in the car. But LW hates confrontation. Prudie says (rightly) that a mother should be able to get up the nerve to defend her child's life. And where's the father in this? And this woman shouldn't be on the roads to threaten the lives of anyone, not just her grandchildren.
I say, go Prudie! This woman is crazy. Either the MIL is a danger or she's not. And if she is, why in the world would you put your child in danger with her????

Letter 3 is from a Jew who wants to destroy Christmas. No, really, she's a human being who would like to do her job without getting indoctrinated from so-called Christians who think that God's judging them by the number of yards of tinsel they string up. In fact, the religiosity seems pretty mild, and Prudie says so. I say, yes, unless she can do better, this seems pretty run of the mill in terms of God-pushing. Just make sure you request paid days off for all Jewish holidays;

Letter 4 is from a woman whose inlaws want to take the whole family to Vegas for Xmas. She doesn't want to go. Prudie says she doesn't have to go. I say, duh. But why turn down a free trip to Vegas??