Thursday, March 24, 2011

Advice Illustrated, 24 March 2011: Bolts for dolts

This week's selection sponsored by Midge, the new reference in gold-digging artistes
Hi there. The originals are HERE.

Letter 1 is from a dying man who wants to leave money to his mistress in his will. Prudie says it's important to make sure its discreet, and to plan for the truth coming out. I say, yeah. And I look forward to the fake-Christian/fake-Muslim fake attacks on Emily's lack of morality. Pre-emptive yawn.

Biggest fashion issue here is the carpet
Video letter is from a tall girl who wants a snappy reply to the dolts who point out that she's tall. Prudie offers one via a colleague. My reply to the comment: "Boy, you're tall!" would be "And my, you're observant. And a clod.".

A Park Slope susheteria
Letter 2 is from a guy (I just feel this is a sensitive male Park Sloper) who wants to know how to show the staff at the sushi place he eats how compassionate he is regarding the situation in the Land of the Rising Sun. Prudie says to STFU. I say, STFU you weanie. Now, if there's a collection box there, you can donate. And if you were in DC, you could have signed the condolence book at the embassy, but that closed yesterday. You could still do a candlelight vigil or something at a consulate. They're HERE.

Babies don't have to be this chubby, but they shouldn't be rail thin, either
Letter 3 is from a woman whose friends think other friends aren't feeding their kids right. Should they break off the friendship? Prudie says to write, maybe anonymously, to the kids' pediatrician. I say: what kind of people are you???? Your response to suspected child neglect would be to stop seeing these people? You prefer closing your eyes to the problem to helping these kids? I don't know about the parents, but you sound like a real piece of merde. That said, you don't give any real info showing there's a problem. Are the kids skinny? Not growing? The crying after having a spoon removed could be any number of things other than a sign of malnutrition (maybe teething?). And just how does the 2yo act "as if he's hoarding" food? Just what does that look like? Stuffing his pockets? Filling his cheeks? And no, these people are not food "connoisseurs" if they forget to eat. Does a wine connoisseur forget to drink????

"Une surprise-party" in French is a dance party held at the home of a teen. 
Letter 4 is from a woman who has accidentally invited her mother's new worst enemy to a surprise anniverary party. Uh oh! Prudie says she may delicately uninvite. I say surprise parties are just about always a bad idea. Cancel the whole thing.

1 comment:

Cantahamster said...

How hard would it be to spend some time with the friends that involve feeding them and the kids lunch or supper? With the invitation, you get to ask, "What do you like to eat?" and "What are the kids eating these days?"
As host, you can offer a choice of goodies, or you can observe what your friends provide if that's their preference. If you don't spend real social time with them, you don't KNOW ANYTHING.

When I last saw my friends' child, we were in a restaurant and he was a four-year-old in a French fries only stage, but --I TRUSTED MY FRIENDS-- and didn't draw any particular alarm from one meal.