Thursday, September 15, 2011

Advice Illustrated: Just whose advice do you REALLY want, people!?

A week with TWO letters submitted to and answered by other advice columnists! This as gotten OUT OF HAND!

In the words of Josh M (aka Sparkle Joshua):







Letter 1 is from a woman who has learned that her newborn is at risk for a hereditary disease. She thinks her MIL knew she has the disease and didn't warn her son and LW. She thinks MIL kept mum cuz she wanted grandchildren. LW hates, hates, hates her MIL and wants to keep her away from her precious child.
Prudie gives all sorts of good advice, with a lot of research behind it. All well and good.
Here's mine: I am amazed and disgusted that you are obsessed with your MIL's behavior, and showing no interest or compassion in your husband's situation.The only way your child can have this disease is if your husband has it. Shouldn't you show some degree of concern about him and what he must be experiencing? (Let alone his situation with a mother who does have a horrible disease.)

But you don't. It's all about your baby that deserves to be perfect because you are the perfect woman and perfect mother and will do everything perfectly to have a perfect baby with a perfect life. You have sacrificed so much to have that child! Bed rest, for goodness sake!

And your mother's medical condition really is her business. If anything is private, it is that. Sharing this risk would have been the right thing to do, but you do not even know if she knew: in fact she DIDN'T KNOW. "My mother-in-law says she didn't really know it was HD; she just thought it was something old people get." Why is that so hard to believe?

Oh, but she's a devious woman, who knew but hid the truth just to have a grandchild. And now you are going to punish her by preventing her from having one. Do you realize what you are accusing her of? She is keeping her own son in ignorance of a medical risk, and promoting the birth of a child, just for these selfish reasons.

Your hormones and the distress of this bad news go some way to explaining your horrible behavior, but not that far. You are being a nasty selfish person. Get help.

The video letter is a double of a Miss Manners letter.

Dear Miss Manners,
I have exceedingly long hair. It comes to my knees, and between that and its auburn color, it attracts a lot of attention when I wear it down. I am not a vain person, and I don't often wear makeup or spend a lot of time fussing over my appearance, but my hair is my one vanity and of necessity, it takes a considerable amount of maintenance.

I realize that something as unusual as my hair is bound to be an attractive nuisance, but some people go beyond the bounds of what is acceptable. I have had complete strangers walk up behind me and touch my hair! However, while unwanted touching can usually be resolved with a simple request, there is one particular series of events which occurs with distressing frequency and is much more difficult to resolve.

I am frequently complimented on my hair, but it seems that around three quarters of the time, the person in question follows up with "You should donate it to Locks of Love." It has taken 13 years of meticulous care to get the hair I have, and I have no intention of cutting it off. People wouldn't generally be so rude as to tell me to make other sorts of charitable donations, so I don't know how to respond to this particular demand.

Gentle Reader,
On the contrary, those who consider themselves to be charitable do, all too often, believe that this virtue entitles them to be rude to individuals. And soliciting contributions from people's bodies is not just rude but creepy.

Miss Manners suggests your acknowledging that Locks of Love is a worthy organization, but that you have other charities to which you devote your efforts, as you presumably do. If you want to mention the donation of kidneys as an example, and stare at the relevant area of those who covet your hair, Miss Manners will not object.

Miss Manners' advice is far better.

Letter 2 is a double of a Cary Tennis letter published TODAY!

A guy is all guilty cuz he had a one-night-stand while he was with his girlfriend (later his fiancée, now his wife). Two years later, he is racked by guilt. He says he has a "double life", which Prudie rightly points out makes him delusional. Cary Tennis tells him to go to a 12-step program (but that's just Cary Tennis boilerplate) and CONFESS. Prudie tells him to get over himself, realize it was not a big thing, and make his wife happy. Prudie's advice is FARRRR better (but Cary Tennis is a low bar for advice, when you can actually get some out of his stuff).

Letter 3 is a liar, because she claims she had a HS GPA of 4.6, when the top is 4.0. She was such a go-getter, but somehow did not get an Ivy-League education, nor a high-flying job. She's mopy about what "could have been".
Prudie says it's a bit early for LW to consider her life a failure. Get help for what seems to be depression, and work on getting the job you want. As for me, bleh. She lost me with her 4.6 GPA BS. As Prudie says, no one cares about your GPA after you leave HS, and certainly not about your "weighted GPA". Your weighted ego is keeping you down!

Letter 4 is from a woman whose predecessor in her job was "both obnoxious and incompetent". Her superiors and coworkers keep telling her how much better she is. Four months of this seems a bit much.
Prudie says they will stop telling her how wonderful she is soon enough. I say: start being obnoxious and incompetent. That'll stop those irksome compliments.

1 comment:

CoolOne said...

Some classes are worth more than 4.0. When I was in hs, "remedial" classes were were 3.0 for an A (which the courts later forbade), and Advanced courses were worth 5.0. Now schools have "Baccaluareate" classes, worth 6.0 for an A. Some kids manage to graduate with a 5.38 GPA or something equally ridiculous.

If these highly advanced classes are not available to every student, I think they shouldn't be worth mroe than an ordinary "advanced" class, which most schools do have. Or at least, the students should be made aware of these classes and be trasferred & transported to the schools offering them, at the district's expense.

A kid in a poor neighborhood where the only advanced classes (if they are lucky) are English, math, and possible 3rd year language can't hope to compete with a kid in a rich district with a GPA over 5.0.