Thursday, May 20, 2010

DP May 20 One-by-one: The whole story

Letter 1 is from a woman who got knocked up by a "registered sex offender" who is just out of prison. Her son has been raised by her current husband, who wants to adopt the kid. Biodad wants to be part of son's life. Prudie says to go through with the adoption and keep the kid away from biodad as long as possible.
My take: Well, I have a problem with the words "registered sex offender". You see, that doesn't mean much. It could be something like statutory rape when he was 22 and the girl was 17. Americans are so paranoid about pedophilia that they have created all sorts of ways of "protecting" children which give a false sense of security to parents, while keeping them properl roiling. So I'm not prepared to say that biodad is a threat to the child without more info.

And ladies: if you don't want unpleasant men sticking around in your life, don't let them get you pregnant. (Exception for rape there.) Use that birth control, and if it doesn't work, ou still have a last chance to keep him out of your (and your child's) life.

Video letter is so dumb I can barely recap it. There's this guy who thinks the LW is his daughter. Mom says it's not true, but there's a lot of pressure to make the guy happy since someone is terminal. Prudie says something.
My take: pseudo-biodad and his family can shove it. But if you want, there's an easy way to find out the truth: do a paternity test.

Letter 2 is from a person who has been unemployed for a while and gets annoyed when recruiters ask why she's been jobless so long. Prudie gives a good answer for her to give. My take: Duh. Getting peeved is not a way to get the job. Maybe your testiness has something to do with your joblessness.

Letter 3 is from a woman whose... oh, you'll have to read it for yourself HERE. Prudie says that whatever happens, it's not LW's problem, but her husband's (it's his family, you see).
My take: Let's all grow up a bit.

Letter 4 is from a woman whose BF is going out of town for a conference, where he'll meet an old college friend of the female variety who lives in the area. Friend will be spending the night in BF's hotel room, on a couch or rollaway. LW doesn't like the look of this, and wants her to get her own room. Prudie says her jealousy is most unattractive, and that if BF was planning some hanky panky, he wouldn't be telling her about the meeting, let alone the plans for the slumber party.
My take: Prudie is right, but I am puzzled. If she lives nearby, why does she need to sleep over? And if the room is big enough for a sofa or a second bed, couldn't he downgrade to a cheaper room and pay for a second cheap room for the friend? But in the end, LW says she wants the friend to pay for the second room, and that's where the problem is for me. If LW wants her in another room, LW needs to cough up the cash.


Cheryl said...

Did it occur to you that maybe he wasn't a sex offender when she got pregnant? I've read that the average sex offender offends for 10yrs before the 1st arrest! Plus, the fact he was not in contact with his son for 5 yrs says something about him as far as being a father.
Have man pay for DNA test to prove paternity.
I agree.
I say butt out,and grow up.
I agree.

Marc Naimark said...

@Cheryl. I don't think his being a sex offender before or after has much to do with it. I'm simply saying that children are too important not to take care who their father is. And once you let a guy get you pregnant, and if you choose to keep the baby, you will have him in your life forever.