Friday, December 25, 2009

DP Dec 24: One-by-one

Happy Pyuledie Day!

LW1 is hosting her younger sister for Xmas. Sister wants LW to ship the gifts LW will be giving her so that sister won't have to check them on the plane. Sister justifies this demand by saying that if sister weren't traveling to LW's place, LW would have to ship them anyway. Prudie agrees that sister is unreasonable, and that sister should ship them herself, or that LW should tell sister she'll ship them when she has the time.
My advice: How about you decide to get over yourself and your sibling issues, and just ship the damn things? That's a pragmatic view to make this a happier holiday for yourself.

That said, I agree that the sister is being a bitch. Her rationale that if she weren't coming, LW would have to ship her presents anyway, is an invitation to lots of responses. Like: If you weren't coming, I wouldn't have to lodge you. I wouldn't have to feed you. I wouldn't have to clean up after you. I think the only way to deal with this though is to say "Oh, I thought one of the advantages of you coming, in addition to the joy of your company for the holiday, was that I would be spared the trouble and expense of shipping the presents." Or... "I guess that means you won't be part of the gift opening session on Christmas morning, since I don't want to open any packages that need to be shipped."

Letters HERE.Video letter is from a Chinese-American whose fiancé is a not-very-religious Jew. LW's parents adopted Xmas as a secular symbol of American integration, and LW wants to have a Xmas tree. Fiancé doesn't want to celebrate Xmas and doesn't want a tree. Prudie says she shouldn't be planning on marrying a Jew and raising Jewish children if she can't understand that Jews don't usually celebrate Xmas.
My take: Maybe you're just incompatible? I see his point: it's a friggin' CHRISTmas tree. He is probably dealing with all sorts of internalized guilt about marrying a non-Jew. Bit I am sympathetic to your position. You can still have garlands, wreaths, etc. to give your home a festive atmosphere.

LW2 is a guy who has been "seriously dating" a woman for a whole month. One day when they got to her place, they found perfume and other Xmas gifts to her from a married man from her church. She says there's nothing to it, despite the fact that he sexted her just as she got the gifts, and the other fact that she expects LW not to tell anyone she got the stuff. LW insisted she give away the gifts, and she said she wold, but in fact she kept the perfume. LW wants to know what to do next year. Prudie tries to open the asshole's eyes: she's cheating on you, if you can be said to cheat on someone you've been seriously dating a whole three dates.
My take: "Seriously dating" after a month? In any case, you're dating a tramp, so why you think you'll want to be around next Xmas is a mystery to me.

LW3 is a guy whose fiancée's aunt sent a politically charged Xmas card. LW and fiancée are livid, and want to know if they should skip Xmas so as to avoid these boors. Prudie says to hope for a humor transplant for Xmas, and to ignore the card.
My take: As is typical in these letters, one asks oneself: Where's the SO? Your fiancee is upset? What does SHE want to do? She needs to take the lead, in any case. Prudie's advice is fine. I might worry about what they're going to do at the wedding though... They don't seem to have any idea what is appropriate behavior.

LW4 is a "prankster" (ie, asshole) who does fun packaging of his Xmas gifts. Everyone in his fiancée's family just loves him, except for his future MIL. Should he package her gift in a welded metal box? Prudie says, uh, no.
My take: I think the fiancee's mother is right. You're a creep. Go away.

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