Thursday, December 10, 2009

DP Dec 10: All-in-one

Original letters HERE.

Dear Prudie,

My wonderful ex husband was a Catholic priest defrocked for messing with some choirboys. I divorced my husband Jesus to leave the nunnery and marry my ex. We ended up getting a divorce, but share custody of our 8-year-old son.

Our formerly wonderful son recently announced that he thinks he's gay. We cannot legally throw his sinning ass out in the street until he's 16, but in the meantime, my husband has decided to teach the boy a lesson or two. His first step was to tell our son that there is no Santa Claus. My son is understandably upset, and I don't know what to do.

In the meantime, ever since the divorce, I've had to go back to work, in a badly paid entry-level position in a small firm. There's a lot of pressure to contribute the equivalent of a week's salary to buy the boss a present, as well as to pay for one's one meal at the company holiday dinner party. It's really a burden on me Prudie, and I just don't know what to do!

I figure I have two alternatives. Either in lieu of a monetary contribution, I put on a show with one of the girls from the convent, or I sell my son on the open market to raise some cash. I figure the second option would kill all sorts of birds with one stone, but can I do it without my husband's permission?

Signed,

Putting the X in Xmas

1 comment:

SmagBoy1 said...

Oh! There's text in this post, too! Sorry, took me awhile to notice. ;-) Excellent work as always. Especially with throwing in the divorce which just twists the story that much more...

Good cheer! :-)